cw: 125
gw(1): 117 (By Nov 27th)
gw(2): 115 (By Nov 29th)

I am going on a 7 day fast. Who wants it as bad as I do? I deserve unquestionable beauty. I deserve a breathtaking happiness that only comes from being thin. My ex dumped me when I was at my thinnest, and I'm going to have to see him eventually...well next time he sees me he's going to want me back. I'm not doing it for him. I am doing it for me.

7 days of no food. and then some food, but not much and then another 7 day fast. Coffee and cigarettes and water are all I need.

I am starting to feel weak. UHG. Having some tea hopefully will tide me over. Gonna have to go to bed early.
As I was walking into my building some guy stopped me. I had seen him inside the dep and he smiled at me.
My first reaction was that I did something wrong or he needed directions but ....

"Excuse me miss? I just had to tell you, you're so beautiful. My friends and I saw you and just wow. Can I take you out for coffee?"

MY BRAIN WAS LIKE X_X WHAT!? WHY?!

I said no, even though the guy was pretty cute.  I think it's because I was in shock, and he said "Oh ofcourse...a boyfriend! I'm an idiot! Well call me if you're everboyfriendless!" and he gave me his number.

Such a buzz from the compliment though. WEIRD. I know I've lost weight but I'm nowhere near as thin or pretty as I used to be when I was 105...

I'm gonna weigh in this sunday see how I'm doing. I'm eating on day ten though. I don't want to like...faint or anything.
It's pretty encouraging to know that my weight loss is noticeable enough to get compliments! CAN'T WAIT TO BE 120!
Think thin ladies!

Well it's day 5. I'm 131.2...and Im really happy but I am getting kind of hungry...it's hard because I know you need food to survive but if I could just not eat until the 16th I'd be so happy.

But i get the feeling I'm going to fail, just by eating a little bit. uhg.

131.2!!!!!

Closer and closer! 

<3 And when I get home tonight I have to cleaaaaan, fun!

Hope everyone is thinking thin!

It's funny that I'm very good at fasting, but if i have a little tiny piece of food I'll go into binge mode. I have such a hard time restricting cals so I just fast. It's easier for me because I know if I have soup I'm going to want bread or something.

All I need is my coffee, cigarettes and hot baths and I'll be okay. I'm gonna make this a 11 day fast I have decided! And when I weigh myself next sunday if i'm not atleast 130 I am going to just fast some more! If I am 130 I am going to have a salmon salad and that's it on sunday.

I'm going to start a <600 calorie diet and incorporate a workout routine.

I really hope I'm 130 by the 2nd cuz then that means i'll have like three weeks to lose 10 pounds which is like the easiest thing in the world!

Wow! I am insanely proud of myself. I just went to buy cigarettes and I had $15.
I bought some cat food, cigarettes and I had some money left over....and I looked around and was SURROUNDED by fatty food. Chocolate bars, bagels with cream cheese, chips, ice cream, pizza and guess what?!

I BOUGHT WATER!

I am so happy! and I can't wait for my sunday weight in!
It probably is unrealistic to want to have lost 5 pounds in 4 days but wtv we'll seeee.
All I know is I'm motivated and excited and work is going well, well as well as it can go.

I saw a clip of doctor phil with the whole anorexic/bulemic girl and to be perfectly honest I don't have her problem.
I don't ever want to be THAT thin. She isn't beautiful to you guys is she?

Anyway I am so excited for my weigh in!

kudos to all you girls who are working so hard! 

You know I can eat like a whole pizza. It's insane but I've done it...
It's hard to think that after I lose all the weight I want to I won't just shovel it all back in my mouth.
Being thin isn't easy. You have to want it bad enough. I think I do, but you know what would be great motivation?
A new wardrobe. I figure if I only had size 4 clothing, if I gained weight OMG I wouldn't have anything that would fit me and I'd have to be thin.

I get so sick of skinny infomercial. Hunger stifling shakes or weight loss cookies and the workout infomercials. JUST UHG. 

Give me cigarettes and shoes!

I've been seriously thinking about becoming a stewardess/flight attendant. <3 Once I'm gorgeous I'm gonna do it.
I'd be so hot as a flight attendant. The outfit!!! and I'm good with people and I could travel. So sexy.

Reasons to be thin:

Clothing
Brian
Summer
John Mark
Bathing suits
Happiness
Stewardess
Sex
Attention <3

I am happy. No food today. No food for two weeks! You know whhhhyyy because I don't have any money for food! hahaha! PERFECT!

I have so much to look forward to. So many reasons to do this fast. I can't wait to be proud of myself again.